why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
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