brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Don't tell me you're on acid again
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
