I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
