ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
