I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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