You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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