I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
