they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
