My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Is it because I queefed?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
