I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
