It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
