Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
