Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
