We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
