Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
