we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
you are never too drunk for berry picking
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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