and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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