i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
