I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
