She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
