She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
You have to summon your inner elephant
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Never joke about your clitoris.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
