did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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