; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
