Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
