Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
