No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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