Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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