she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
