super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
