i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
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