marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
this is an emotional support booty call
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
