i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
