so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
