So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
