but the lizard people decide everything anyway
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
