but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
