Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I am naked and annoyed.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
how drunk are you?
Several
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
