Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
a search helicopter?!
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
