Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
