Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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