is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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