I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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