do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Randomize
