weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
