Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
