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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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