you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
