We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
