"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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