Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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