nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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