we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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