my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
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