I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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