PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
